Ask Star!
by GoldenMerlin
Summary: Starfire gets a job as an advice columnist! Sorry if I stole anyone's idea, I haven't seen any like this yet. All the Titans ask for advice and that kind of thing....No pairings. Askers: Blackfire, Galfore, Gizmo. More to come later on!
1. Starfire snags the job

Authors Note: This is just a silly little story about Starfire snagging a job as an advice columnist. All the characters will ask for her advice. It's my first one. Sorta. I deleted the first one. As I will probably say in every fic, "If you enjoy this, there are some nice men in white who want to be your friend! And you can have sleepovers! Won't that be fun!"

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, thanks for reminding me. I really want to , you know, and you have to go remind me that I dont. HMPH!**

* * *

A tall, slim redhead bounded into the building. The building had the sign " The Daily Plaid Lightbulb" written in the color-you guessed it-plaid. Saving up for a dress for Silkie costed bucks, and being a superhero wasn't exactly the best paying job on Earth!(And it wasn't the best paying job on Tamaran either.) So when Starfire saw that red frilly thing with the lacy and _silky _bonnet, just Silkie's size, the alien princess had to search for a job. She had looked _everywhere. _Perhaps she would do well as a "journalist"? Robin had suggested it.

Starfire searched the room, walked up to the front desk, and asked, "Who can I see about the HELP WANTED sign in the window?"

A pudgy old man glanced up at her.

"Me. If you are hired, I shall be your boss."

"Oh, hello, friendly potential boss! I would like to be a journalist please!"

"Okay, do you have a resume?"

"Nooo-ooo...But...I am very good and would like an interview!"

The man's eyebrows knit together. No resume? Who the heck was this girl? And who did she _think _she was?

Starfire continued smiling at the man. "Could I have one, please? It would be very pleasing for me. I'm a cold candidate!"

"Cold candidate?" Starfire didn't think it was possible to have your eyebrows practically touch, but his were.

"Cold! You know, awesome, in, good?" Starfire exclaimed, slightly confused at why this man didn't understand Earth slang.

"Oh! Are you foreign or something?"

"Yes, Mr..."

"Mr. Eimdaboss"

Mr. Eimdaboss, being a blond American, was wondering how the heck this foreign girl who spoke strangely could ever write well in English. Suddenly, his phone rang. He uncertainly glanced at it, finally deciding to answer it.

A nasal-sounding voice of a toddler filled the room. "Papa, when are you coming? You promised you'd be there for my sho-oo-oow!"

The blond, short, man's thin bored face became melancholy.

"I'm sorry, Josephine, I have work right now! I really tried, honest!"

"You PROMISED! I hate you! Waah!" The girl over the phone burst into tears and the line went dead,

John Eimdaboss sighed and tucked his cell into his pocket.

Kori Ander's head was tilted in sympathy.

"Oh, I feel so bad for both of the you. You should talk to your boss and try to get out of work sometimes. You deserve a break. If not, don't make "infection" promises to your daughter. Don't-"

"You mean, 'rash' promises?"

"Yes. Don't get her hopes up. And if you can't come, at least get a videotape of it. Ask the teacher to videotape the show."

Eyes squinted in thought, John Eimdaboss stared at her. He wondered if maybe the idea forming in his brain would succeed. **The Daily Plaid Lightbulb **needed an advice columnist.

"You know,_ that's not a bad idea."_

Kori Anders smiled graciously, squealing, " You're going to take my advice? I hope it works! Really! No one wants to see a crying toddler and a miserable man! I'm so happy I could help! But...Could we get to the interview please?"

A grin graced Mr. Eimdaboss's lips for the first time in years. This girl was crazy and enthusiastic. Just right for the job.

"Of course."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------**The Interview**---------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, your name is Kori. You love to dance and sing, and help others. You live with four roomates, who often argue, but never with you."

"I wouldn't say never, bec-"

"And, according to you, you help out a lot of strangers and constantly stop trouble."

Star chuckled. That was the most normal description she could give of being a superhero constantly stopping villainy and saving civillians.

"Yes, sir." She confirmed with a little bit of pride.

"And...you want this job to buy a dress for your dog?"

"Dog?" The confused alien asked. "Oh, yes, dog! Yes, I desire to purchase a silky dress for Silkie."

"Okay, Kori. I regret to inform you" Mr. Eimdaboss started to inform regretfully.

Kori's head hung. "Say no more." She muttered sadly, and whirled to stalk out the door.

John grabbed her arm.

"That you cannot be a regular journalist. Instead, you will be doing the job of the advice column journalist."

"Woo of the hoo!" Starfire exclaimed.

John Eimdaboss rolled his eyes at the odd way she talked. It would require some getting used to.

"So ya except?" The question sounded annoyed.

"I accept! When can I start the advice journal column?"

* * *

**A/N: I know, it's short, badly written, and is cluttered with unneccesary crap. Can't say I didn't warn you. And if you say it anyway, I'll give away your location to the friends I mentioned. You know, the ones who want to have sleepovers with you? And always dress in white? Don't read it, but if you do, review. I don't care if they are flames, just as long as the flames explain to me what's wrong with my story. (Like I already don't know.)**

* * *


	2. Gizzy teh cool villain

_**A/N: Here's my story! (resists urge)**_

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, duh!

* * *

Starfire flew to Titans Tower. 

"Did you get the job?" Robin asked, masked eyes hopeful.

Starfire stared at him. Then she looked back at the other titans. John Eimdabosses' words echoed in her mind.

"Let no one know... It's a secret..."

Starfire let out a small smile. So she told them 'what had happened' After 'informing' them that she had been rejected, they all loaded her down with suggestions of a second job. (**A/N: How I wish _I _would be loaded down with suggestions)**

"Car mechanic!" Cyborg called.

"Spy?" Robin responded.

"Professional comedian?" Beast Boy butted in.

"You could be a singer." Raven responded.

"Villian!" Gizmo gave.

"Friends, those are all suggestions that are right for _you. _I could not be any of those things.Cyborg, I do not know much about the strange vehicles you have on Earth. Robin, I cannot disguise myself like you can. I have green eyes, and not just the irises. Beast Boy, I do not tell jokes like you. Raven, you can sing? I cannot. Gizmo, I am not evil like you."

"_FRIENDS! _Stupid crud-head, I ain't ya friend! Gross! Alien germs! " Gizmo screeched.

"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were frozen ? Why are you here? We're heroes, we try to beat you up!" Beast Boy stared at Gizmo.

"Pitsniffer!" Gizmo disappeared.

"Oookay," Raven said, "That was 'wacky'."

"I 'm surprised you aren't a journalist. It would have been the perfect job for you." Robin wondered.

* * *

Later that night, Starfire called Mr. Eimdaboss over the phone. Together, they came up with "Ask Star". 

Kori Anders opened up her 'email', which Raven taught her how to use. Since her only friends on Earth consisted of the people who were in the tower with her, she rarely got mail. Suddenly, she logged in, and the neutral female monotone jumped out at her.

"You've got mail."

The curious female alien opened it cautiously. Who could it be from? It was a forwarding. John had forwarded a message to her from Starfire stared at it wearily. Did she _want _to know?

_Dear Star, _

_ I wanted to join this well-known group of people. I don't like them, I just wanted to be a traitor because one of them deceived my own clique, the ------------. (I filtered the name out.) But those stupid toilet-for-brainers didn't accept me! I hate them! I would be a valuable addition to the stinking team 'cuz I'm better than 'em all! Heh! The really sad part is, I'm frozen! I can't move at all! I have this gadget planted in my brain that lets me type stuff to ya crudsniffers. I wanna join the team! Whadda I do?_

_-Gizzy teh cool villehn_

Could it be? Nah. Although "Gizzy teh cool villehn" sounded suspiciously like him.Hmm. Well, she should just respond normally, if she said anything, her boss would figure out that she was Starfire,

_Dear Gizzy,_

_These people don't sound that cool. Since you are so cool, why do you want to join them? How did you feel when they betrayed you? Even if you hate them, that would be stooping down to their level. The 'geek' level. It sounds like you really want to join them, though. If you do, how about asking them why they won't let you in? If it is a good reason, accept it and move on. If it is a bad reason, point it out. If they still don't agree, they aren't worth your time. If it is for a good reason you can easily change for, change yourself for it! But don't change yourself _too _much. Be yourself!_

_-Star_

* * *

Sniggering as she read over it, she realized that she had portrayed Gizzy, or maybe Gizmo, as the good guy. Oh well. Maybe he would change himself to good like she had suggested last. Although she doubted that Gizzy, whoever he was, would listen to her, she sent it back to John to forward. 

Five seconds later, the bored "You've got mail" returned. Another message from Eimdaboss.

"You are really good at this! Gizzy will love it! I already put an ad up for Ask Star, so prepare for a lot of e-mail!"

Kori Anders sighed. Why was he online so often!

"Nerd." She quoted a phrase Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg used often.

It was going to be a long day...And it was nighttime!

* * *

A/N: DOn't worry, the chapters will start getting longer and better( I hope). I really need a beta reader. (And a life, I'm updating already!) What I mean by better is that I'll start making more and more people ask for advice, I just need some more IDEAS! Beta readers, reviewers, flamers, critisisers and suggestioners are welcome! The reason this is so short is because only longhairedhorse gave me any ideas. Thanks, I'll use them!Anyway, I'm trying to decide on the people who will ask for advice.If you have any ideas, tell me. I'M IN NEED HERE!I don't have a definite plan for this, and will REALLY welcome any suggestions. Please? Anyway, this chapter is going wherever, whenever. Do you think i should make the story mainly about pairings or should I toss in some other things? Pairing stories, to me, aren't that interesting, but I don't know how to worm in other things.. I need ideas! I'm looking for a beta reader as well, I need one, as you will see, I am a desperate cause.

To all my reviewers who got mad at me for saying I suck: Can I do it one more time? Please? Okay, thanks! I SUCK! I suck, don't read this, it really stinks. If you are reading this story, you are crazy, but thank you so much!

**This is one heck of an authors note, it's longer than the story! **


	3. Gizmo Part Two

A/N: I'm getting so many ideas! I don't know how to use them, though, but I definitely will. If anyone wants me to change the outcome of the chapter, I will. By the way, this chapter is utterly idiotic and psycho. I don't own the TT.

* * *

Gizmo slipped into the computer store. Actually, he did not "slip" into the computer store, he smashed the glass door open with his mechanical legs. Go figure. Surprisingly, Gizmo's idea of stealing a computer had disappeared. Perhaps it jumped out the broken window. No longer here to steal, the bald, young, immature, evil genius hopped onto a computer chair. Why was he here? To check his e-mail of course! After the Titans 'visited' the 'secret lair' they 'accidentally' busted his precious computer. Horrors! The miserable Gizmo watched it's burial in the lair's backyard. **(A/N: They have a backyard? I don't know, I'm just feeling crazy today. THis chapter will be psycho.) **It was time to move on. 

What a sight to see: A ten-year-old villain in a closed computer store (with the alarm blaring) calmly checking his e-mail, receiving one from "Star" forwarded by :Eimdaboss".

"Hmmm. Yeah, why DO I wanna join those losers, I am cooler than them...Well, they did it first, so they are stoopin' lower!...Ask? Them? Don't change...This dufus sounds like that alien crud head! Should I take the advice? Hmmm..." Gizmo's voice, yet to experience puberty, echoed around the empty store.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm." When a feminine voice replied, he wondered if he sounded THAT girlish, and started to look forward to growing up. But then the voice said more.

"What are you doing, Giz?" Oh god, it was a goody-two-shoes broccoli-face hero! Darn toilet-eater!

Immediately, Gizmo twisted the chair and found that it was way worse than a hero. It was HER. That two-ugly-faced stupid crud-munching _traitor!_ Who he found very sexy. **(AN: Excuse me for that. Warned ya.)**

"What are YOU doing here? Come to defeat and stop me, traitor? Well, ya can't! Take that!"

Jinx quickly shot a pink hex at the bullet he had shot at her and picked up Gizmo. The boy was about to yell at her to put him down so they could fight fair, when she snatched away his guns and placed him on a high shelf. Curse her and her height! Wait, didn't curse mean to wish bad luck upon somebody? If he cursed her, then her powers would just go stronger.

"I aint fallin' for that! I _don't_ curse you! Now gimme my machines and stop trying to make yaself powa'ful so we can fight fair!"

"We aren't 'fighting'," The fuchsia sorceress stated in her slightly-annoyed-but-acting-calm voice. "We are having a chat about your habits."

Gizmo paused. He wasn't stealing anything, and she wanted him to? His sexy leader was back!

"My villain habits? Ya, I know, they haven't been well, blah blah blah. You been a stinking hero!"

"Heroine to you, and still am."

"Yeah, yeah, ye-WAIT, WHAT, YA TRASHBALL !You gonna try and convert me!"

"No, I'm speaking about your eating habits. You use your machinery and get absolutely no exercise. Yet you continue to eat. This isn't healthy for a growing boy."

"What would you know about growing boys! I'll eat whatever crud I wanna eat!"

"Right!" Jinx spat. "You are eating crud! And I may not know much about growing boys, but HE does."

A young, energetic-looking, muscular redhead sped in.

"I'm your host, Kid Flash! We are watching Gizmo 24/7!"

"Shut up and tell him why he should diet, KF." Jinx sighed.

"You people aint my mother!"

"I should hope not!" Kid Flash evilly grinned at Gizmo, which scared him slightly.

"You ain't my father either annoying sh-"

"Gizmo!" Jinx scolded. "What happened to your 'crud head' and 'pit-sniffer'! While I may not be your mother, I am your closest thing to one, and not only should I make sure you _eat healthy_ and _exercise_, I also have to correct your language. West, soap please."

Kid Flash handed her a bar of soap.

"No! Fine, crudhead, crudhead, crudhead! Ya happy now!"

Jinx smiled, satisfied. "Yes, I am, you piece of sh-"

"Jinx!" Kid Flash yelled, mock-dignified-and-appalled.

"I was about to say school-skipping immature kid!"

"Oh." Kid Flash flushed. (Toungetwister!)

Then Kid Flash gave Gizmo the 'growing boy, eat healthy, be active' lecture. And when Gizmo failed to be convinced, Wally started playing a sex-ed movie on the computers...

"No!!! I'll do whatever you say!"

"You know," Jinx commented, "We could use this opportunity to get him on the good side. Then again...when I was younger and evil, even a sex-ed movie was better than becoming a hero."

So Gizmo went to Jenny Craig. After threatening Jenny herself into letting him join, he lost a grand total of 10 pounds. Hey, he's a kid. If he lost 30 he'd be about 50 pounds of villain.

After all that was done, Gizmo was left alone. Questioning the Titans as to why he could not join, he found, "You are evil, remember?" to be unreasonable. An angry Gizmo could be found pointing out the utter stupidity of that reason, and calling the Titans a waste of his valuable time. (Sound familiar?) He walked away, still a villain, who had been captured, held prisoner, and tortured with sex-ed and Jenny-Craig by his old sexy-teammate and her sexy new friend.

* * *

Gizmo stayed bad. Keep him that way? Write about him converting and toss this chapter?Don't worry, this is not a Gizmo/Kid Flash. Or a Gizmo/Jinx. And thank you to alibi2014. Not only for the great stories she's written, but for being my fantastic beta reader! Yay!This chapter is pretty much a short pointless thing, stalling the real chapters. :) 

I still need ideas, so give me all you've got!


	4. Alien Problems

**Hi again! **

**Thanks to everyone reading, willing or unwilling, and alibi2014, my beta reader. This is a real chapter. That doesn't mean it is good (it isn't), it just means it is serious, uses ideas, and plays a part in the plot. This is not where I thought this fic would go, so you have to tell me if you like this new plot idea or want me to dump it.**

** If I haven't used your idea yet, I will soon. Unless it involves pairings. I'm not sure whether I want to have any pairings...Sorry! Also, can someone draw a picture of Mr. John Eimdaboss and send it to me...Crazy request, I know!**

**You know I don't own this.  
**

* * *

Chuckling, Starfire slid into a pink comfortable computer chair. 

_I KNEW it was Gizmo. Oh, being evil isn't, like, a good reason, right? Whatever._

With enough time on Earth, this alien had begun to actually think in teenager-talk. No wonder she blended in so well with John. He didn't suspect a thing! Although maybe using earth slang wasn't the best thing. Sometimes, it confused her, and she accidentally used synonyms of human slang, which freaked others out. Such as informing others that they had a big head, when she meant to say they had a gigantic brain.

Slender fingers speedily tapped upon the keys, and in no time, she had logged in.

"You've got a lot of mail. You must be popular." The same cheeriness filled the robotic voice, but the words were different. It only did that when she had a lot of mail.

"107 messages!" Starfire exclaimed, shocked. "I believe that is double, two, or too, many!"

-------------------------------Mr. Eimdaboss----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A slight frown appeared on John Eimdaboss' face. Upon his body was a black trench coat, similar to that of a detective's. Inside his mouth was a cigar. A hat pulled low over his eyes paired with a magnifying glass, a leather breifcase, and a pair of boots completed the look. Obviously, Mr. Eimdaboss enjoyed playing dress-up.

"Sweetie, where are you going?" Mrs. Eimdaboss's plump apron-wearing figure appeared. Her orange curls were tied in a bun, and a big smile appeared on her homely but kind-looking features.

"To search for clues..."

Actually, Eimdaboss was only going to the computer upstairs, but Mrs. Eimdaboss did not need to know that. Tiptoeing upstairs, sparkles in his blue eyes gave off a mysterious excited glint. As a small tabby cat snuck past him, John picked it up.

"You know too much." He whispered to it. "I'm afraid you'll have to be sent to...the couch..."

Reaching the 2nd floor, he placed it on a black sofa. With a flick of his pale fingers, the computer's switch had been turned on.

"Okay, Kory Anders. Let's check your history out like a library book."

Ignoring the strangeness of that comparison, he typed up "people search" in a search engine.

"Aha..."People Search For Nosy Bosses Trying To Find Information On Employees"? Specific...I like it."

Why was he doing this? First off, she was a foreigner, and therefore should have a weird name like Huukdiomalljuddepoldessnab Jiifdoi'Lnuma **(A/N: No offense is meant to anyone or their name, I'm not rascist, it's just part of the story.)** but instead, she had Kory Anders. If she wanted to start a new life, she might want a new name. But why go through all that trouble of changing a name legally when she could just become an illegal immigrant? Being a slightly paranoid man, he began to think that maybe she was an unregistered alien!

"Oh! Not a single Kory Anders!"

The next day, he questioned Kory as to whether she was a minor or not.

"Minor?" Kory asked, confused.

"Are you above 18?" He explained.

"Yes, sir!" Kory exclaimed, enthusiastic as ever.

_Oh no. _John thought. _She is an illegal immigrant._

_-------------Back with Starfire----------------------_

_Dear Star,_

_ Hi, I'm from a...country...and I am the king, thanks to the queen-to-be leaving and giving me her crown. My people do not favor me, since there is a new girl who despises my rule and asks to be ruler. She is not from our pla- I mean, country, but she is popular because she has this peculiar ruling "style". She is cruel, but a natural leader, with passion, motivation, and a way of sticking out. Heads once focused upon the grand ruler of Tamaran-I mean, Tuvalu, have now focused upon this girl. Now the question has come of whether she shall rule instead of me. I really do not want her to rule, but if it is what my people want..._

_-Confused Gal For What is right-  
_The alien frowned at the mention of Tamaran and the almost-mention of planets. She may be a little naive, but she was not dumb. No one would actually be fooled by the little "I mean"s. Confused **GAL FOR** what is right? Wait, how would Galfore even get a computer? Oh yeah, Starfire herself dumped one on him telling him to e-mail her...And then she had to explain what on Tamaran was an e-mail...

Perhaps someone was playing a practical joke- the civilians knew about Starfire and her planet Tamaran. At least, she thought so, until she remembered no one here knew about Galfore except the Titans. Her friends were nice; they wouldn't be cruel and trick her like that. If that didn't convince her, the next one sure did.

_Dear Star,_

_My sister is always defeating me in EVERYTHING. Do you know how much that hurts? She was so nice to me and so popular I began to hate her. This girl blended in but still stuck out because she was so "perfect". I stuck out because I looked different from everyone. This was seriously annoying, since I was here first, worked harder, and didn't have to be 'nice'. I think she was deceiving-being nice to people to kill them inside. No one else could see that! Little Starfire, perfect in everything, tried to "help" me, but it was actually a way to insult me. I was put in jail for simply trying to get her in trouble! I'm back, and I'm having a little trouble deciding on what to do. I'm so angry it's like a raging black fire is inside me! So I returned to my country, the one we were princesses of, and have made my presence clear. Everyone admires me, so I suggested making me the queen. I want to rule without physically harming anybody. I can rule them all, but...any ideas on mentally damaging someone for life?_

-Ann Gree

One shocked alien stared at a compact computer with flowers and fur all over the monitor, wondering what she could do. Slowly, she began to type out a response to Galfore.

_Dear Gal,_

_Follow your heart. Is she evil or misunderstood? Does she want to rule peacefully or does she wish to control, be greedy, and harm people? Wait, don't__ Tuvaluans have a democracy? Anyway, even if they don't, they still probably can take care of and choose for themselves. I understand what it is like to have someone favored to you...This person you mention sounds a lot like the person who forced me to experience this. I also understand what it's like to have that favored person manipulate your friends into prefering them.Watch her, but if she shows no signs of evil, get to know her a bit._

_-Star_

Those two questions were the very ones she was asking herself. Unfortunately, she knew she couldn't simply waltz onto Tamaran and kill her sister or something, not now that "Star" just got a whole new point of view. Never having thought of it that way, Kory Anders's mind blanked out. Looks like Star needs a little advice herself. And there is only one person who can help her.

* * *

**(gasp) Who will it be? No one cares. Honestly, I have an idea, but I'm not sure if I can develop it. Let me tell you, it's not who you are expecting. All of the ideas given were fantastic, and I'll definitely use them.**

** But...That's right, I'm still looking for ideas, reviews, flames, corrections, or whatever you've got. My author notes are too long and boring and chapters too short and stupid, so I will shut up now!**

_ What I thought: I think this chapter was kind of..off. Confusing and boring, this bounces around without being well written. Overdramatic without writing dramatically. But I do think this chapter shows enough of both dialogue and paragraphs, and had a plot. See, I CAN compliment myself!  
_

**Anonymous reviews:**

**To critic-Is the name REALLY that important? LOL.** **I actually am apathetic toward that name- whatever works, right? Meh, I'm too lazy too change it. But thank you anyway.**

**To anonymous-Thanks! I enjoy sugar too. Also enjoyable is the hyper/ sugar-rush feeling you experience after it. **


	5. Authors Note

Authors Note: Sorry, I'm rereading this, and I'm beginning to realize it's just an awful story. I published it two years ago, and not to brag but I think my writing has improved. I can see the plot is going nowhere, and the story is just...lame. I doubt I will continue it. I can't keep a story going, I prefer oneshots. Although I can't really say what I "prefer" because I've only written two stories so far. Hehe. So the main point is: I don't like this story, and I'm not going to be updating...


End file.
